From Therapy to The Driving Range: Learning Golf at 40

Starting + learning golf at 40 wasn't something I ever saw coming.

Neither was rebuilding my life + my identity, and figuring out who I was again.

But here we are.

In 2024, the boys and I moved three times in five months. I returned to work after being a stay-at-home mom for four years, started three new jobs within a year, and my marriage continued to fall apart.

Most days, I was just surviving, going through the motions, trying to make it through each day one step at a time.

For the first time in a long time, I wasn't sure who I was anymore.

I never made golf a priority like I wanted to because, if I'm being honest, my life felt like I had no solid foundation. I was trying to keep my head above water.

I grew up as a three-sport athlete. Competition, teamwork, and challenging myself were always part of who I was. Even after sports ended, I continued working out—and still do to this day. But it had been a long time since I'd taken on something that truly challenged me as an athlete.

At the same time, I am walking through one of the hardest chapters of my life—my second divorce.

Going through this divorce hit different.

It wasn't just the end of a marriage. It felt like the loss of the life I thought I'd be living. I thought this marriage was forever. I mean who wants two divorces.

I wasn't looking for a hobby.

I was looking for an outlet.

I was looking for something that would help me find myself again.

Something that was mine. Something no one could take away from me.

Something that would challenge me, ground me, and help me process everything that comes with this next chapter of my life outside of therapy.

I've spent enough of my life waiting for things to change.

I decided it was time to become the change.

I refuse to simply exist.

One of the reasons I wanted to play golf was to learn emotional discipline.

You know... staying calm under pressure, controlling what I could control, and responding instead of reacting.

Turns out, golf has a funny way of testing every single one of those.

I’ll be the first to admit, emotional discipline has never exactly been my strongest personality trait. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve + feel things deeply.

And apparently, the golf ball doesn’t care about my feelings either… kinda reminds me of my exes 😂

Let's just say my emotional discipline... it's still very much a work in progress.

It wasn't until November 2025 that everything changed.

After one of my therapy sessions, I just wanted to hit the sh*t out of some golf balls. So I borrowed a friend's golf club, drove to the driving range, and walked in with no idea what I was doing other than what I had googled.

Text message conversation with my buddy when I borrowed his golf club.

Feral + Forty.

Where it started + now at Viera East Golf Club.

During my time at the driving range, three different men came up to me + respectfully asked if I'd be open to a few observations about my swing. Of course, I said yes. It must have been obvious.

After I left the driving range that day, I knew I wanted to learn the game the right way + I was going to invest in lessons.

I knew in that moment...

I was all in.

Don't get me wrong—I probably could've gotten plenty of free lessons if I'd kept hanging around the driving range. There never seemed to be a shortage of advice from the men. They always had something to say 😂

But I wanted to build good habits from the beginning. Looking back, investing in lessons was one of the best decisions I could've made.

Golf has become so much more than learning how to hit a golf ball.

It's teaching me patience when I want immediate results.

Humility when things don't go my way.

Presence in a world that's constantly pulling us in different directions.

And the discipline to simply show up, one swing at a time.

Golf doesn't care about the bad shot you hit five minutes ago.

And it doesn't care about the shot you'll hit three holes from now.

It asks you to be fully present with the shot that's right in front of you.

Kind of like life.

The more I play, the more I realize life works the same way.

Being fully present is something I'm learning to practice off the course, too.

The thing about golf is that no one can play the round for you, take the swing for you.

You have to own every shot, every swing, every decision, every mistake, + every success.

And the more I learn about golf, the more I realize that's exactly where I am in life.

I'm learning more than my golf swing.

The biggest lesson for me? Emotional discipline. Learning to be more self-aware, own my choices + decisions, and trust the process—even when it feels painfully slow or I’m not quite where I wanna be yet.

Turns out, that applies to a lot more than golf 😂

Just like in golf, I don't have to have it all figured out today.

I just have to keep showing up + do the hard work. For me, that work started in therapy, where I learned to look inward, understand my "why," take ownership, accountability, and become more self-aware. Learn to break my old patterns + behaviors.

Funny enough, that's exactly how my golf journey has unfolded.

Between all the "helpful" tips from the guys at the driving range + me trying to Google my way through golf, I'm sure I would've eventually figured it out.

Eventually.

But I wasn't interested in eventually anymore.

I wanted to learn the game the right way.

I didn't want to have to break old patterns + behaviors in golf, too.

I've come to realize growth begins the moment you're willing to admit you don't have all the answers. I'm learning that growth isn't about being perfect.

It's about showing up, staying coachable, staying open-minded and trusting that every round, every swing, every season, and every chapter is making me a little stronger than the last.

I want to be intentional about the life I'm building...one choice, one lesson, and yes... one swing at a time.

I want to build a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside. One that truly aligns with who I am.

And somewhere between the lessons, the driving range + a whole lot of bad swings…

Golf became part of who I am.

And, well… I’m officially obsessed.

Here's to new beginnings.

To learning something completely new at 40.

To rebuilding my life.

To rediscovering my identity.

To trusting that it's never too late to start over.

And that it's never too late to learn golf.

Here’s to hoping golf + I have a much longer relationship than my first two marriages.

So far, I’d say the it's looking pretty good. 

From a borrowed club to my first day practicing with my own bag, driver and irons. The journey is just beginning