Why Golf Is So Addicting // And Why I Finally Understand the Obsession

I get it. I finally get why men are addicted + obsessed with golf.

Honestly, I can't blame them.

I’m realizing that golf isn’t just something you do.

It becomes somewhere you can place your energy, thoughts + feelings...or in a man’s case, somewhere to compartmentalize all the feelings he swears he doesn’t have while learning to let go of everything you cannot control… or briefly escape the life you keep choosing.

Golf has become the place where I go to practice my emotional discipline.

And occasionally, the place where I quietly lose my sh*t.

It’s also one of the few sports you can play alone...if you want to.

And lately, I want to.

Not because I’m lonely, but because sometimes being alone with a golf club, a bucket of balls, music in my ears, sometimes dancing it out and my own thoughts is exactly the kind of moment I need.

Golf has become both my escape from reality + a way of practicing how to live in it.

This week has felt heavier than usual. Apparently, it’s the week for closing doors + walking out—some doors I knew were closing + others I wasn’t entirely ready to close… nor did I know I would be the one closing + walking out.

I officially started the mediation process for my divorce while also dealing with a few emotional curveballs I definitely didn’t see coming.

And then…I walked out of my job.

Not because I had another one lined up or knew exactly what would happen next, but because I finally realized there is no amount of money worth sacrificing my peace + energy.

Honestly, it felt like life was coming at me from every direction—from parenting to work + everything in between.

Soooo, you may find me at the golf course a little more than usual.. practicing emotional discipline or quietly losing my sh*t.

Probably a little bit of both because, truthfully, it could go either way.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

So whether you’re playing a round or just hitting balls at the range, the only person you really have to worry about is yourself. It gives you somewhere to put down whatever you’ve been carrying...even if it’s only for an hour.

And there are days, the only thing I have the mental capacity for is myself...and honestly, sometimes taking care of myself is all I can handle.

Because when you’re standing over the ball... that is what you call it, right? Standing over it? Listen, I’m still new here, learning the verbiage + terms. Judge me.

Either way, you cannot do anything about the shot you just hit.

You cannot control the shot that hasn’t happened yet.

All you have is that moment.

The swing.

And the ball directly in front of you.

That’s one of the many reasons golf becomes so damn addicting.

That ONE shot makes you forget the ten terrible ones before it.

You know the one ...that once you hit it.. you know it's gonna be a good one because you literally can feel in your hands + body.

But for a little while, the world gets quiet + the only thing you have to carry is the next shot. The only person you get to worry about in that moment is... YOU.

That’s the peace we’re all chasing. The kind where everything else disappears..for a moment, there is nothing to fix, solve, or figure out.

Unless you’re my golf instructor, Darren.

We’re officially on week two of lessons, and this man has already seen all sides of me.

First lesson I basically gave him my disclaimer + warned him about the full Otie experience.

I’ll be honest, I was nervous. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and this is golf...a sport where people tend to keep things reserved, classy + not too feral.

Meanwhile, I like to describe myself as unfiltered, basic high-maintenance + a little feral.

You know…the complete opposite of “traditional” golf. Haha.

I’ve been the passenger princess in a golf cart a time or two and I’ve definitely been shushed.

Just in case you didn't know, when someone is about to swing... an indoor voice even though you are outdoors is required. Who knew?

Darren is now two weeks into giving me lessons, and honestly, that man deserves a medal or at least a strong drink or one of his vices.

I keep reminding him, “At least I’m not boring.”

Honestly, he’s the real MVP because while golf may be teaching me peace, patience + how to quiet my mind, I’m fairly certain it’s testing every ounce of his giving me lessons.

And if he tells me “one more thing” to after a swing.. one more time…

Sir.

I already have an entire list of “one more things” running through my head...in my swing + in my life.

And according to Darren, inner peace requires keeping my head down, rotating my hips, following through, slowing down + somehow not losing my sh*t in the process.

But the biggest takeaway of all?

Ready for it?

Tempo.

Slow. The. Eff. Down.

My swing.

And most likely my thoughts.

Maybe even my life.

Honestly, no surprise there.

Did you know I have ADHD?

I overthink + talk too much.

Sooo… there’s that 😂

Apparently, golf + life have been trying to teach me the exact same lesson: not everything needs to be rushed, forced, or figured out all at once.

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is slow down, take a breath, trust your swing + play the ball where it lies and trust the uncertainty.

The irony?

I’m writing about trusting uncertainty during the same week I walked out of my job without knowing exactly what comes next.

So, clearly, golf isn’t keeping its life lessons on the course.

I’m still learning how to do all of that...in golf + in life.

But maybe that’s why I keep coming back.

Not because I’ve figured it out.

But because, every time I step onto the course or the driving range, I get another chance to try again.

One swing at a time. One breath at a time.

—Otie

Sidenote: Please enjoy the 13-second video below. It only took me an hour to make.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/6027bf_1a8080bfbb2941a1b2110da6521552d1/720p/mp4/file.mp4