Turns Out... Golf Wasn't the Only Thing Testing Me | Life Lessons with Golf

Turns Out... Golf Wasn't the Only Thing Testing Me.

From learning golf at 40 to navigating life's challenges, discover lessons in confidence, growth + belonging. What happens when the confidence you're building on the golf course gets tested in real life?

Golf became more than a hobby for me.

It became an opportunity.

An outlet.

A place to belong.

Something that was finally mine.

Until it wasn't.

Something that once brought me so much excitement, joy + a sense of belonging started bringing up feelings I knew all too well.

Disappointment.

Self-doubt.

The feeling of not being good enough.

Or wondering if I'm just too damn much.

And suddenly, I had a lot of questions.

Not just about golf.

But about my identity.

My confidence.

My sense of belonging.

And who I was becoming through all of this.

And if you've been following along, you probably already know that my life has been a little... chaotic lately.

Okay, maybe a lot 😂

Between rebuilding my life + my identity, navigating a divorce, trying to find some financial stability + figuring out who the hell I am in the process, I thought golf was supposed to be my escape from all of that.

But of course, life had other plans.

Because somewhere along the way, I started questioning whether I actually belonged.

And if I'm being completely honest, I'm not sure I ever really felt like I did.

Maybe I just wanted to.

And that was a hard pill to swallow.

Because when I first picked up a golf club at 40, I knew absolutely nothing about the game.

I didn't know the etiquette.

I didn't know half the terminology.

And I certainly didn't know what I was getting myself into 😂

But I kept showing up.

At the driving range.

For lessons.

For those little moments when something finally clicked + I hit a shot that made me think, Okay, maybe I can actually do this.

And somewhere along the way, I started falling in love with the game.

Not because I was particularly good at it.

Not because I had anything to prove.

But because I genuinely enjoyed it.

And for someone who was already trying to figure out who she was outside of motherhood, relationships + everyone else's expectations, that meant something.

Golf was becoming part of an identity I was building for myself.

So when things unfolded the way they did, it wasn't just disappointing.

It brought some old insecurities I thought I was moving beyond right back to the surface.

Those familiar feelings of not being enough.

Of wanting to be accepted.

Of questioning myself when something doesn't turn out the way I hoped.

And wondering why I keep looking for reassurance from the very people + places that leave me questioning my worth in the first place.

And if I'm being completely transparent, this wasn't happening in just one area of my life.

I walked away from a job. I've been facing financial uncertainty, navigating some complicated relationships + learning what emotional regulation actually looks like when life isn't going according to plan.

And let me tell you...

Knowing how to regulate your emotions + actually doing it when you're in the thick of real life are two VERY different things 😂

But here's what I'm starting to realize.

The very sport that was teaching me how to handle discomfort, practice patience + let go of what I cannot control was now giving me the opportunity to practice those exact same lessons off the golf course.

And let's just say...

That's a whole different kind of golf lesson.

Because here's the thing.

I've spent a good part of my life trying to make things work.

Relationships. Jobs. Friendships.

Heck, even situations I probably should have walked away from a long time ago.

Trying harder. Giving more. Being understanding. Making excuses.

And somewhere along the way, forgetting to ask myself whether any of it was actually working for me.

Sound familiar?

Because apparently, I'm one of those people who likes to repeat the same life lesson until I finally get the damn point 😂

But lately, I've been asking myself a different question.

At what point does trying harder become losing yourself?

And when do you stop asking whether you're good enough for something + start asking whether that something is actually good for you?

Because sometimes, you can understand exactly what you're getting yourself into on paper + still be completely unprepared for what the experience brings up emotionally.

And when things don't work out, it's easy to start questioning everything.

What could I have done differently?

What could I have said differently?

Should I have tried harder?

Or maybe just been a little less... me.

And there's the problem.

Why am I so willing to question who I am just to feel like I belong somewhere?

I don't have that answer figured out yet.

But I'm starting to recognize the pattern.

Learning to have the hard conversations.

Face the truth.

Take accountability for my part.

And recognize that not every person, place, or opportunity is meant for me.

And maybe that's where things start to change.

Because apparently, the same habits I'm trying to unlearn in life have a funny way of showing up in my golf swing.

Which brings me to the GOLF SWING.

Because my golf swing + my personal life have a lot more in common than I'd like to admit.

One of the biggest things I'm learning about golf is that the harder I try to force a good shot, the more likely I am to screw it up.

I overthink my setup.

Question my grip.

Start thinking about the ten different things I'm supposed to be doing.

And before I know it, I've completely forgotten how to swing the damn club 😂

Because apparently, that's exactly how I've been approaching certain areas of my life.

Trying harder.

Holding on tighter.

Overanalyzing every decision.

And thinking that if I could just do everything right, maybe things would finally work out the way I hoped.

But golf doesn't work that way.

You can have a great setup, make what feels like a perfect swing + still end up somewhere you never intended.

And here's the thing.

You don't get to control where every shot lands.

You only get to decide how you're going to approach the next one.

And I'm beginning to realize life isn't all that different.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is loosen your grip, trust what you've learned + take the damn swing.

And then there are the missed opportunities.

The ones I was excited about.

The ones I thought might open new doors.

The ones I truly hoped would turn into something more.

And I'd be lying if I said I didn't wonder what could have been.

Or question whether I somehow got in my own way.

But golf has been teaching me something about that, too.

Not every shot is going to go where you intended.

You can prepare, practice, give it everything you've got + still watch the ball land somewhere you never expected.

And sometimes, it's going to end up in a place that makes you question what the heck you were thinking 😂

But that doesn't mean you stop playing.

You figure out where you landed.

You adjust.

And you take the next shot.

Because here's something I'm starting to understand.

Not every missed opportunity means I wasn't good enough.

And not every door that closes means I did something wrong.

Sometimes things simply don't work out the way you hoped.

And learning to accept that without turning every disappointment into a reflection of my worth?

Well, that's another lesson I'm still working on 😂

Which brings me back to the question I started with.

What happens when the confidence you're building on the golf course gets tested in real life?

Well, you find out just how much you still have to learn.

And apparently, I have a lot 😂

Because confidence isn't always about knowing exactly what you're doing.

Sometimes it's about trusting yourself when you have absolutely no idea what comes next.

It's making a decision even when you're scared.

Walking away when something is no longer right for you.

And realizing that just because something didn't work out doesn't mean you failed.

I'm still learning how to swing a golf club.

Still learning how to manage my emotions when things don't go according to plan.

And still trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing with my life some days.

But then again, isn't that part of the game?

You have a great round one day + show up the next wondering if you've ever held a golf club before.

And somehow, you keep coming back.

Because every round gives you another opportunity to learn.

Another opportunity to improve.

And another chance to surprise yourself.

One bad shot doesn't make you a bad golfer.

And one disappointing chapter doesn't mean you've failed at life.

Which is why I'm reminding myself of something important.

An opportunity might not work out.

A particular place might not be where I belong.

And life might look absolutely nothing like I thought it would.

But that doesn't mean I have to give up something I love.

And here's something else I've been reminded of along the way.

Thanks to Sassy Saturday, I made my first golf friend, Renee.

And sometimes, it's those unexpected connections that remind you why you started playing in the first place.

Because with Renee, I don't have to question whether I'm too much.

She accepts all parts of me.

The loud. The goofy. The emotional. The completely unfiltered version of myself.

And she allows me to show up exactly as I am.

No pretending.

No trying to fit into someone else's expectations.

Just two women enjoying a game we love + building a genuine friendship along the way.

And maybe that's another lesson golf was meant to teach me.

The right people won't make you feel like you have to be less of yourself just to belong.

Not every opportunity is going to work out.

Not every experience is going to be what you hoped.

But there are still friendships to make.

Courses to explore.

Lessons to learn.

And plenty of golf balls to lose along the way 😂

Because maybe belonging isn't about finding the perfect place or being accepted by the right people.

Maybe it's about allowing yourself to enjoy something you love without needing anyone else's approval.

Golf was mine before any of this happened.

And it still is.

One uncomfortable swing + one life lesson at a time.

I never imagined that some of the biggest life lessons from golf would have absolutely nothing to do with my swing + everything to do with learning who I am ⛳️

My first Sassy Saturday golf friend, Renee! ⛳️💕 A reminder that the best connections happen when you can simply be yourself.